What's Next....?

I am just starting to realize that I have been struggling with the question "What comes next in my life?" . These past few years my life has drastically changed from being a young teenager, still dependent on her mother and the public school system to an adult, with a husband, and a home to take care of. Since 2009, I have started my first job, quit my first job, learned how to drive, failed my driving test, passed my driving test and earned my licence, applied to university, graduated from high school, had my first boyfriend, recieved my first scholarship, started attending my first university, bought my first (and second and third cars), got engaged, dropped out of university, became an aunty for the first time, and got married. Yes I know that was a run on sentence, but it was for affect! What I am trying to say is that I have had constant change in my life up until now. Right now there are many new experiences that come with being married and independent from my parents, I feel as if I have started a new life. But What next, what should I do next, where should I go?

Having a relationship with a Saviour that knows my every thought and every movement and knows the big picture and every detail of my future should give me comfort. He knows...but what about me? I find myself getting caught up in my own plans, something I have struggled with often. It is hard for me to let go of something that has been so precious to me in the past. I have often idolized the future. Instead of having excitement and anticipation for where God is leading me, I get anxious that I might not be where I think I should be in the next 5 years, few months, or even weeks.

To Trust in the Lord is something I need to work on, it needs my full attention and awareness. It takes work for me to let go of my control. Sometimes I pray that my life will get shook up enough for me to just fall on my knees and have no barriers in the way of God having everything. I pray "God take everything, take my life, and use it!" But then the next day I fret over having enough money saved or if I will have a job in a few months.

This may not be as uplifting as some of my other posts but this is me being real. I pray that God can speak through me a message I dont even know I am saying. Please leave comments if God has spoken to you!  

This is my new challenge, to let go and let God be the driver of my life. I would rather just be the passenger anyways because I don't know when, where, or with who I am going (although I assume My husband will be right there beside me!)! I want to realize the big adventure I am already on with Jesus. I don't need to be halfway around the world to be experiencing God's great story He is writing!!! I might be far away someday, but for now, I want to try to love where I am, and open my eyes to what God wants for me!

As one of my favorite speakers, Kent Hovind, would say, "What on Earth are you doing for Heaven's sake?!?" I need to let God use me, I need to get uncomfortable. Too often we get stuck in the things we know and just shut our eyes to the possibility of things outside our comfort zone. I believe Jesus lived outside the comfort zone. He made everyone around uncomfortable and many people did not like it. At times, it was even hard for His disciples to follow Him because He was doing things so far out of what they had known to be socially and politically acceptable. So I guess that's my second challenge, to get uncomfortable.

"Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this? She saith unto him, Yea, Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, which should come into the world." ~ John 11: 25-27 (KJV)